i may or may not be watching the land before time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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