Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just found a bag of teeth...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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