1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
operation harelip BJ is a go
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
