I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
