"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
