How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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