singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
