I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
