recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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