He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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