There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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