sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
