why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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