I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
