ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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