I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
