I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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