thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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