So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize