The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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