is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
