hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Be still, my beating vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
