My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
His nipple licking is glorious
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