Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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