I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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