Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Randomize
