At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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