Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
