How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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