i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
