I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
