His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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