You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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