carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well I can't set my house on fire every night
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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