he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
