So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
