like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
