finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
