How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
