How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
