how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
