i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
