We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
