butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Help. Why am I so naked?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
