his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
