I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
