guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have already put on my inside pants.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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