DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
