I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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