talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
