thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize