I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
