you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
