have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize