Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
