Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
