Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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