I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
