So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think my moral compass just broke
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
